Almost Dawn


Recently I’ve had problems with sleep. Okay, I should rephrase that. It’s not problems with sleep, but getting to sleep. I was always one of those kids that would force myself to stay awake so I didn’t miss anything. When you  think about it, how stupid is that ? I mean, how much could a kid miss ? it’s not like they have so much going on in the evening, other than video games, texting and their computer. But at night ?  I don’t think so.

I once heard that as you get older you need less sleep. This is going to be a nightmare if true, because as it is now, I’m getting about 5-6 hours average. So in another 10 years, will I be down to 3 or 4 ? I heard that Bill Clinton can survive on very little sleep and still be astute, brilliant and on his toes. He only needed about 4 hours, but I’m no Rhodes scholar.

I end up writing late into the evening when it’s all quiet and the night is mine.  Sometimes I watch the travel channel or House Hunters International so I can fantasize about living in one of those apartments in the middle of a fabulous European city like Paris, or an old stone house in a romantic village.. Alone. How romantic.is that ? Maybe I’ll get a dog to keep me company. They’re great company and give so much love, they are also a big responsibility and a lot of work. So maybe not, because lately, I’ve been moving around quite a bit. Much more than anticipated and I had hoped to.

I adopted a bird a few years ago for company.  He’s one big pain in the butt.  Anyone who says birds are easy has never had birds, or certainly not the more intelligent ones. Gee, how lucky can a girl get ? He’s very smart, can be sweet, cuddly, fun, but is the neediest and most demanding living being I have ever encountered.

I must have Velcro on my forehead that says, hey over here. Pick me, pick me. I’ll put up with all your crap. Just like I did with many of the men I dated years ago. I’ll spend a fortune on vet bills. No problem. I have an endless fund of money all saved for you.  I’ll be a slave making sure you stay healthy, which of course you’re not. Two thousand dollars later, I found out he has a chronic disease. How lucky can you get ? Do you know what that means ? He’s on and off medication fairly regularly. Expensive and time-consuming.

But I must have learned something about high maintenance men and pets. They’re not synonymous either. I think the bird knew  when he saw me.  He was sweet and played it cool the first few months I had him. He would sing in his cage. Was such a little angel. What happened ?  I think it must be me.  Maybe I spoiled him too much or trained him unconsciously to have a certain behavior without either of us even realizing it at the time.I guess he was a good learner. Me, a good teacher.  If I’m not engaging with him every minute, like he’s the only one that exists in the world, he starts to squawk in my ear. It’s so annoying. He doesn’t like it when I talk on the phone or watch TV. A jealous thing. Much worse than any man I ever dated.

He’s relentless. He has me hostage. A demanding, beautiful cockatiel. A kid may have  been easier. At least they grow up. He stays a perpetual 2-year-old as long as he lives. God help me. It’s a good thing they need a lot of sleep and he’s pretty quiet through the night. Like now.

Maybe after writing this, I can get some sleep. I have no idea what I said. I’m just rambling this time of day. morning, edge of night.  I’m never quite sure what to call it.  I’m tired. Oh Good. The eyes are closing.  I hope I can say goodnight and mean it this time. It’s already 5:30 a.m.  If I hear a peep out of my boy, I may have to open a window and let him experience the real world.  Perhaps he’ll stop taking me for granted and realize just how good he has it.  I can’t help think about this when he’s acting out, but he’d never survive. Not a day. Not with the life he’s led.

I remember when I complained about lack of sleep to a friend  He used to say, when you’re dead you’ll be sleeping a long time. When I heard this, at least I knew I wasn’t wasting a whole lot of time. But in the interim, can’t we compromise  ? Even 7 hours worth ?

Till next we meet…..

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About aboomersvoice

First and foremost, I'm a baby boomer and damn proud of it. The ones reading this post survived. Some didn't..We are the generation that crashed through barriers, broke through the norm and made our own rules. We paved the way for others to follow their bliss. One of the largest breakthroughs was probably equal rights and opportunities for women. Thank you Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan. We burned our bras, well, most of us did. We marched against politics we didn't believe in, staged protests not knowing we could easily be silenced by a bullet, experimented with drugs, meditation and guru's. We traveled with backpacks across the country and throughout the world..We had a voice. We had a choice. We had a mission. We had freedom and we were united. I am a writer, traveler, explorer, observer and participant in life. I am part of the expansion of baby boomers who still believe in the original message of peace and love. Take this journey.with me. Who knows where it will take us next ?
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