I had a situation the other day. I was with a group of people and walked away not feeling good. I felt uncomfortable, disconnected, not acknowledged or appreciated. I protect myself when going into these situations. I really have to. I am sensitive and when I’m put into uncomfortable situations, I don’t feel safe, therefore, I am guarded.
I am at a place in my life, where I am cognizant, that I don’t have all the time in the world. Like we ever did. Youth is such an illusion and oh so fleeting. I am not dismal. I am realistic. I am on the other side of the fence, like it or not. Anyone over 45 is.
I don’t live in this place. I just don’t deny it anymore. This past year, a few friends died, one was a very close childhood friend. I miss him constantly. Just tonight I was watching something about Astronomy and thought, “I have to call him,” but I can’t. He’s gone. It was one year on Christmas.
So, the moral of my experience is, don’t waste time on things and people that don’t make you happy. Don’t let any person take any of who you are away. You are complete, just as you are.
Everyone deserves to be happy, appreciated, loved and respected. If you’re not in those circles, you better take a serious look. Create new ones. The other day, as one of my closest friends was getting on the plane back to the west coast, she turned back to me and said, “Whatever it is you really want, hurry up. Don’t waste a minute.”
My mother used to say, “We don’t have all day.” I’ll use that as a metaphor for life at this age. We don’t. So, I do the obligatory, if I have to. I will show up, stay to make my presence known, be supportive and then I’m off.
This is my year. It will be the year that brings me all the happiness, love, friends, riches, health and creative success I have longed for, worked for, wished for and prayed for. I deserve to be happy. I believe we all deserve to be happy.
I bless each day and welcome it. I cherish every moment with new friends, old friends, the shared laughter, deeper connections and ultimate peace. I will pay more attention to my health, mental and physical, as it is an ongoing discipline. I will show more gratitude for whatever good I sometimes take for granted.
I wish for all my blogging friends, the same as above and more. I hope each of you receives your dreams and all of what you personally desire.
I cannot leave this year without some acknowledgement of all the tragedies, natural disasters and people who are suffering from loss, hunger, mis-treatment, fear or anything else directly threatening them. Bless the sweet innocence of the little children who brought so much joy, but were taken too early. And the heroic actions of the teachers, trying to shield them from harm.
Bless the surviving families of the Colorado theatre and Wisconsin Sikh Temple, mall shootings, street shootings. Loved ones died just because a gun was in the hands of the wrong person. They were in the wrong place, at the right time. No one in this country, should feel unsafe at a place of worship, a movie, a school or mall.
The sheer brutality of the woman med student in India, so saddened me. She came from a modest family who sold their ancestral farm to give their daughter an education. Imagine, she wanted to help and heal people. She died at the hands of six perverted, sadistic murderers who wanted only to hurt people.
How can someone possibly think this way ? How could they want to cause such harm, torture and pain to an innocent, helpless person ? I hope attitudes are changed quickly for the safety of girls and women everywhere in that country. I won’t be going for a visit, not until they take these crimes seriously.
I hope these men who had their fun, are thrown into the most vile, run down prison in all of India, for life. Unless they get the death penalty. Then they’re gone and the world would be a little better and safer. This kind of behavior is not ok. It’s deplorable. It is so unacceptable for a society to turn their head on this !
Lastly, I send my prayers to the victims of Hurricane Sandy, who lost everything in that massive storm except their lives. Some even lost loved ones, that were caried back out to sea. I hope they can begin to piece their lives back together.
Let’s pray for more peace and acceptance in the world. And tolerance. I hope we witness more kindness and compassion too. Get involved if you can, when you see an injustice. It is your business. Help those that need it. We are all connected in the end. And for every action, there is a reaction. Life is a ripple effect.
Let us move into an inspiring, joyous and incredible New Year. Thank you everyone, for your kind and encouraging words. Thank you for your support and inspiration. Thank you for the two nominations for 2012 Blog of the year award. It has all meant a great deal to me, in the short time I have been here.
Love and Joy to you all in 2013 !