An Epiphany

I recently read that you learn how to love from what you saw & how you were raised. In other words, you were taught how to love through example, when growing up.
So that’s why most of the population is in deep shit. What kind of role models did we have ? Two people on their own can be wonderful loving people. Sometimes though together, they can establish poor relational skills & the dynamics can be horrendous.
This is who you’ll emulate. You’ll undoubtedly choose a partner so similar to everything you don’t like & swore not to become, that almost inherently, you will recreate the same scenario, often being the last to know you did so .
There are a few people I know who somehow got it. They figured it out young or sometimes later, but nonetheless, they did it differently. They married someone with qualities and a personality foreign to them. They set up a whole different dynamic. They were conscious. Very Lucky for them, I say.
It’s taken me a long time to figure all this out. To see the unhealthy pattern or behaviors I had assumed was the norm. I guess for me it was. But no longer .
Everything I knew had to be rewired, reworked, rebuked. Today when I enter a new relationship, that’s friends and romantic, I go it with an open eye & clear mind.
If a red flag goes up, I pay attention, close attention . If a second one comes to light, I start moving away & participating at a distance. When a 3rd rolls towards me, I toss it back & say goodbye. There’s no more room in my life for negative, abrasive or insensitive people. I wish them well with their life. I just know I don’t want to be in it. I don’t want drama, crisis, chaos or crazy. Today I want peace. And with today’s pace that’s a full time job. My application is in. Now I’m waiting for the call.