How I hate to even go there, but lately, I’ve been thinking of all us baby boomers who live alone. So many of my friends do, just waiting to find the “Right One.” Or not. Does he or she even exist or do you make someone the right one ?
It’s Winter. A difficult time for me with the cold, shortened days and darkness. Every year I threaten to move and here I am. Still. I have no idea what keeps me here, other than familiarity, friends and the comfort of all the surroundings. I’ve been shut in for 4 days now. I got sick with some awful virus that seems to rear its nasty head every year around this time. The usual menu. Awful headache, sinus congestion and a cough that’s unyielding and refuses to stay quiet at night, despite the maximum amount (as prescribed) of codeine syrup I have taken to suppress it.
Today is the first day of the five, I’m starting to feel a bit better. When I stood up awhile ago, I got dizzy. Then it passed. Good thing. So I started to think about it. What if something was really wrong ? Would anyone know ? How long would it take for someone to find me ? A frightening thought.
Some single women friends and I have joked how we should just form some sort of communal living, especially as we get older. It’s a dreadful thought. Not the communal living piece. The getting older bit. I thought it would be a great thing for each of us to pool our strengths and resources. I may have better hearing, while someone else may have better eyesight and so on. A good idea and yet, still we all wait… Hoping that the person we’ve waited for will come along instead. Hoping our health will maintain a balance. Hoping we’ll remain healthy and strong.
But, I thought in the interim, while I am alone, perhaps I should get some sort of device to hang around my neck, in case I can’t get to a phone. In case I am about to faint, so on the way down, I can hit the switch. Just in case of an emergency. WAIT ! Am I crazy ? Where is it going to call ? A central office that notifies the the local police in my area to send an ambulance to my house ? I have a cell phone for that and I can call the same service for nothing. It’s called 911. I’m never going to be that sick. And I’m never getting that old. Right now, I have faith in myself and the universe’s plans for me. Besides, denial is a great defense. At least for now. And I’m going with it.
I know what you mean, but where I am, is a small community and people all know each other, so that part is good here.
At least check in with a friend or two most days, maybe. I worry about the elders in my neighborhood, whose families are so far away. If I approach them, I am concerned that they will question my motives. It’s a hard balance.
Can you believe it ? Another snow storm last night.
Another 4 or 5 weeks to go.