It has been said that with age, you acquire wisdom. But..it depends on the person. I don’t think there are any absolutes in life. Getting older certainly gives you experience and a taste of life, but wisdom ?
Accumulating various conditions, circumstances, people and predicaments is a learning curve in itself. Some things are a given. We will all get hurt and disappointed. There will be conflict with friends, lovers, family, career and more often yourself, but there will also be times of elation, sheer joy, happiness, calm and love. It’s a balance and a dance. Some people get it right at a young age. They are spared a lot of turmoil and pain the rest of us get slapped with. I figure these people were fortunate enough to be born into a loving environment with stable and supportive parents. They must have been saints in a past life. No one I know.
I’m beginning to think that whoever you are as a young adult, is who you will magnify as an older one. With modifications of course. I can only come to this conclusion based on my own observations with friends, family and people I’ve known in the periphery for a long time. There are so many factors that play out in this. One of the most important assets is to be accountable for who you are and your actions. Check your motives. It might be a good thing to ask yourself what your motive is behind a comment, judgement or action. Is it trying to enlighten someone or is it your ego wanting to be right ? Does the climate have more to do with your stuff than someone else’s ? Unless it directly affects you, it probably does.
What I’ve found to be most important as I get older is:
1) Do what you say and say what you mean
2) When you’re constantly looking at what others don’t have, don’t do or actions that drive you crazy, it’s not a personal affront to you. It’s who they are and has nothing to do with you at all.
3) Try to be more accepting and understanding. No one I know has been escalated to perfection in this lifetime. Either will you. People are who they are and I believe most of us are doing the best we can, given the circumstances we are dealt.
4) Don’t Judge. No one is living their life to please you. No one is here to live up to your expectations. We all have our journey. A great saying says, “Unless your life is perfect, do not judge mine.”
5) Forgive. We all make mistakes. Talk about it. Kindly. Softly. Come from a place of how it affects you, not how bad that person is for messing up. No one wants to be made a villain and often things aren’t what they appear to be. So listen if you really care and want resolution. If you want to be right or a martyr, stay with the resentment. Eventually all that negativity will eat a hole in you. The better and wiser alternative is to get rid of it, let it go and move on.
6) Reflect. More than anything, much of our bad behavior comes from not feeling appreciated, loved or acknowledged. We all want to feel these things. So, what’s lacking in your life ? It’s easy to deflect and point to what you didn’t get or what someone did to you. But.. isn’t this whole process an internal job ? Look inside first. Sweep your side of the street. Where’s the lack coming from ? You or them ?
7) Love. What would we be without it ? Who would we be without it ? Every person thrives when they are loved. Clean up anything that gets in the way of that and of you becoming a better self. That may mean people, jobs, location and interests. Free yourself from anything that weighs you down and doesn’t feel good. Free yourself to love more, laugh more and live more. Love. Bring Love with you when you walk through a door. Be Love. It’s usually contagious and eventually we will all attract who we are.
8) Stay positive. No matter what life throws at you, look at it, feel it, then accept it and move on. Things are usually how they are meant to be. Remain hopeful that tomorrow could be the day for your miracle to happen. Don’t give up. As long as you’re here, do the best you can. Stay hopeful. Keep dreaming. Keep believing. It’s never too late and anything is possible.