There’s a “WE” in what ?

I don’t know why, but this drives me crazy. I went to Google and I’m not alone. It drives plenty of other people crazy too. I’ve heard it on TV, especially those dumb ads, the radio and from couples directly. “We’re Pregnant.”  No,  “WE ARE NOT.” She’s pregnant, not you. There is no “WE” in pregnancy.

I went on a search to see who coined this ridiculous term. I couldn’t find it. Someone attributed the saying coming from the movie “Junior,” that came out in the 90’s with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I never saw it  I’ve never been a fan of his or his movies and that was way before he did it with the maid.

I know it wasn’t a woman who decided to use this phrasing. It had to be some narcissistic man who couldn’t bear the thought of his wife or girlfriend getting all the attention for 9 months. So, he put an end to that by putting himself into the equation.

Today, he can be a part of being pregnant. Really ? When we, the baby boomers, were in our child-bearing years, we never gave being pregnant another thought. The woman bore the sole responsibility, whether she wanted to or not and whether she was married, single or had a one night stand. It was always on her.

When we had sex and miscalculated, or were seduced by the moment, we got knocked up. Plain and simple. No cuddly terms. We had definition. A man was a man.  A woman was a woman and each sex had their own autonomy. We also knew our body parts and anatomy. Are they missing something here ? I knew they should have kept those sex ed classes on the roster at schools. What would Betty Friedan say about this if she were alive. Do the women who are allowing the men to voice this stupid remark even know who Betty Friedan was ?

When we got pregnant, under any circumstance,  we hoped the man would be involved, now, we can’t get rid of him. Can’t we reach a compromise for something in between ?  What’s up with this generation of men anyway ? Maybe they need to be liberated. Maybe they need to speak to our generation.

Whoever that daddy is, he was there on the night of conception, a lot easier and more fun than a 9 month contortion of your body. Unless there were other men he never knew about, tag, he’s it.  And God knows, he’s going to be it for the next 18 years at least, while that child of his drives him crazy, causes him to worry, sucks all the money out of him, throws tantrums and takes away an extraordinary chunk of time he could have put into other interests, hobbies, work. and let’s not forget the totality of himself.

And then… even when you think you’re done with kids, you’re not. There’s college if they decide to go, or are smart enough to get in. There’s after college, when they need help getting set up so they can start making a life and living for themselves and get taken off your books. You pray they become a tax paying member of society sooner than later, with a well paying job good enough you won’t have to subsidize.  A  friend of mine just told her 30-year-old that “the bank was closed.”

So, until men can start sharing in morning sickness, swollen feet, hormonal mood swings, food cravings, engorged breasts, weight gain in excess of 25 pounds and stretch marks, all culminating in one long contraction called childbirth, which could last hours, (if you’re lucky) or up to a day if you’re not, there is no “WE” in being pregnant.

So stop saying it, at least to me  Because it makes you sound stupid, insecure and delusional.  Believe me, there’s going to be a “WE” in everything else for the rest of your life and theirs. Happy now ?

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